Grief and Misery vs. Grace and Mercy

As some of you may have noticed, it's been a while since I've posted anything to this blog. Many probably thought I had abandoned the blog. Well, not really. Something called "life" got in the way. My wife discovered she had cancer, and 7 years later she succumbed.

That's not the entire reason, though, why I paused. We had started going to a church that sounded great. They taught "expositionally" (verse-by-verse) through the Bible, with a topical flavor to it. People wanted to be there to learn, not just to perform. People were coming in from all around, sick and tired of the meaningless ritual and hungry for God's Word.

Two things happened, though. The first was with me. I got lazy. In my previous church, I knew I wasn't going to be blessed by the beautiful music or the responsive reading or the "sermonettes for Christian-ettes." I sensed God wanted me there to feel like I belonged, and to show some of them what life in Christ was really about. That's life, 24/7, not just on Sunday morning. (I don't want to mention why I felt ashamed to attend church board meetings.)

In this new place, I was being fed. I didn't have to do as much heavy-lifting. It was all truth straight from Scripture. Wasn't it?

Something changed, though. Encouragement for growing in Christ became a focus on "doing life right." That turned into "obeying the commands of the Lord." Now, don't think I'm trying to dismiss the Ten Commandments or anything. I won't even say that calling baptism a "command from the Lord" was incorrect. They missed a vital point, though: what about those who couldn't obey every single precise command they pronounced? Were they shown grace and mercy publicly?

Nope.

Instead, the vibe tended to be towards making them feel guilty for "disobeying the Lord."

It got worse. The senior pastor at one time, in one service (the one that didn't get recorded, of course), pronounced that married couples who didn't raise children -- either their own or adoptees -- were disobeying God's command! After service I asked him about this, and he sounded like he was desperately trying to back-pedal, with comments like "oh, it's a personal issue when you do this" and so forth. He never said he was mistaken, though.

I understand, or at least I've been told, that some people feel like they can "get away with disobeying," like little children hiding. I also know that I never depended on that, because it never worked for me. (I'd get blamed for stuff I didn't do anyhow, so what's the difference?) If adults really are that immature, then I suppose an emphasis on "accountability" and the like makes some sense.

God still loves us, though! Check out Romans 8:31-39. John 3:16-21. We still sin, yet Jesus took the death those sins cause and nailed them with His own body on the cross! Yes, sins still have earthly consequences. Yes, we should experience some grief and misery as the Holy Spirit convicts (but doesn't condemn) us. That shouldn't be the overriding emphasis from the pulpit, though! We all need grace and mercy, not guilt and misery!

Like I said above, if you feel no guilt and misery, the problem isn't the disobedience. The problem is your personal, one-on-one relationship with God. Encouragement to get that business settled is a good thing. I hope this little paragraph serves as that encouragement. But there's still hope.

Because of my upbringing, I beat myself up too much, according to my mother and my late wife, over little things. I don't believe for a moment that I'm going to get away with anything in the sight of God. I let myself get beat up over "willful disobedience," about not having children, about missing several other commands.

I had lost faith that God still accepted me.

I got lost in the grief and misery, never seeing the grace and mercy.

Fool's Gold: Overwhelming Happiness

I'm sure you've heard songs such as, “There is Joy in the Lord,” “Joy To The World,” and numerous others. (Since I’m married to a Joy, I have probably heard more than most. 😁) For many people, though, that “joy” seems to be all they seek after. If they feel good, then they are “blessed.” If not, then maybe it’s their fault for “quenching the spirit” or lacking “faith.”

Church people have started to seek after some dangerous things. This is the first of a series I’m calling “Fool’s Gold.” I don’t use the term “fool” in judgment, only to express how many people have been fooled by so much that the modern-day church does.

One of the many things that have distracted me from this blog lately has been the death of my mother-in-law. She was raised Pentecostal Holiness, a combination that seems rather dangerous if you dig into it. She and my father-in-law once visited a Freewill Baptist church. Her response was that “they don't believe in the Holy Spirit.” I asked my wife what she meant, and she said they weren’t clapping, jumping, and raising a ruckus during service.

This style of service used to be reserved for “Charismatic” congregations or (pardon my antiquated terminology here) “churches for black folks.” They were loud, active, and definitely spirited. In more modern times, though, this has leaked into what most call “contemporary services” aimed at attracting younger people. Of course, every side has its own opinions on the merits and failures of their side vs. the other side. That in itself makes me think of the house divided against itself (Mark 3:23-26), but that’s another subject.

Loud volumes produce adrenaline, according to several articles I have read. It gives way to the thrill of the adrenaline rush that makes thrill rides such as roller coasters fun for many people. The problem is that continued adrenaline can cause medical issues down the road.

Consider This: if you go to a church to feel good, what happens when you stop feeling good?

Jesus offered a different look at how life in Him works. He referred to suffering (Romans 5:1-5), persecution, and other unpleasant situations. Some choose to “fake it ’til you make it” with a deceiving smile. Is that not a lie? Is that, therefore, not a sin?

There are going to be days when the faithful will find himself or herself in dire straits. Just look at the book of Job! Depressing? It can be, even when trying to lift some measure of hope from it. I’ve been there lately, with a number of medical and family issues going down. Do I “speak positive into the situation?” Job didn’t! He admitted that he hurt. He also retained his faith in God!

Consider This: if you go to a church to worship God, what happens when you don’t feel good?

The person who worships a feeling will find that feelings don’t make good foundations of faith. They aren’t faithful. They don’t deserve our trust. Only Christ does.

Good Grief!

Someone close to me recently lost a cousin to cancer. It was a multi-whammy for her, since she herself was just decreed "in remission" from a different type of cancer, but more so because she had been very close to this cousin for most of her life.

The thing that surprised me, though, is that she was afraid of admitting that she was grieving!

It seems that a particular church (for which I have little respect, based on what she had been taught there for too many years) shamed those who actually didn't "celebrate" when a child of God passed away. Grief, it seemed, was either a sin, or something not to be felt by a Christian.

I have no idea where they got that bit of theological illogic, but it certainly wasn't from a thorough reading of Scripture.

Consider †his: if Jesus did something, it's nothing that should bring shame.

So when did Jesus grieve?

The shortest verse in the Bible, in just about all English translations of which I am aware, is John 11:35. Even the usually-wordy Amplified Bible keeps it at 2 words. (If you're interested, Bible Gateway can show you how all of its English translations render this one verse.) "Jesus wept." Simple enough. But why did He weep? The full story is found in John 11:1-44. This is the story of Lazarus, brother to Mary and Martha, a family that was near and dear to Jesus' heart even though they weren't part of his traveling band. You probably know the story. Lazarus had died, Jesus chose to wait to go there, and when He did, He brought Lazarus back to life, making his name synonymous with restoration of life.

Jesus wept!

Why did Jesus do that? "Certainly" it couldn't have been because His friend was dead. After all, He seemed to know that He was going there to restore him to life. Perhaps it was due to the strong feelings of his sisters and other friends, including the one that came to bring Jesus to them.

Or maybe it's the obvious answer: Jesus grieved for his friend.

Sound wrong? Too bad. We're not to judge what the Bible says based on our own preconceived ideas. One of the reasons I started this blog was to challenge those preconceived ideas that don't really match what Scripture says. This is one of the big ones, though I pray it's not as common as I fear it is.

 Christians are called to joy, but that doesn't mean insane laughter or happiness or any of the other bits of garbage emotionally-driven churches try to push. There are times of sadness. There are times of grief. There are times of trial and emotional depression. There are even times of anxiety and distress. Jesus went through all of these. Why do we think we won't? Why do we think we shouldn't?

Grief is normal. Grief is even healthy. There should be no shame accepted or poured on those who grieve the loss of a Christian. Even though we know we will see them again, the forced separation that will remain for the rest of our own lives is not a situation we can just push aside. As temporary as it is for Christians, the separation caused by death is the second greatest separation we can experience. (The first is when God isn't in us or the loved one, making the separation eternal.) Consider †his: death is not a separation we were intended to endure. Such separation came about because of sin. Sin causes even greater grief, in more ways than one.

So don't put shame on those who grieve. Put the shame on those who reject grief and those who grieve.

"Giving an account"

OK, maybe it’s just me, but years ago I recall someone teaching on Romans 14:12 and getting seriously scared about God. No, I’m not talking about the fear of the Lord that’s the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7; 15:33). I’m talking about getting so scared of what He will do when we first meet “eye to eye” in Heaven that I obsess about every little thing here on Earth.

In case you haven’t already looked at the verse using the little popups, it reads in the ESV:

So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Add to that Matthew 12:36, which reads:

I tell you, on that day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.

Mix well with tons of legalism, and you get one paranoid Christian!

Once again, though, chopping up the Bible into little bits and trying to piece them back together into what I call “Scripture Slaw” produces an inaccurate representation of God’s truth. Take a look at all of Romans 14 to get the context, as well as more of Matthew 12.

Consider †his: giving an account of what we did doesn’t remove God’s view of our lives as though we lived Jesus’ life.

We have no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1). Even though we still sin, God’s grace reigns. (That’s not a license to sin, though, as Paul addresses elsewhere in Romans, 1 Corinthians, and other letters.) The judgement those in Christ go through won’t include a stern-face God shaking His finger at us like naughty children, demanding we squirm as we try to given an excuse for the inexcusable, as we are shown our failures when our best wasn’t “good enough.”

This particular fear was something I have had for decades, I just recently realized. I don’t recall what false teaching I heard early in my days in Christ that supported this thought, but it has partially paralyzed me spiritually until recently.

Normally a “good blogger” would ask a question to engage comments from the readers at this point. All I’m going to do this time, though, is ask you simply to consider what I’ve said, and ask that you pass it on to those who might be stuck in the same trap as I’ve been. Also pray for them, and for me, for continued freedom from this paralysis of fear. Thank you.

Hating Homosexuals and Hens

So today’s the “big day.” Today is the official Mike Huckabee-generated Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. Lines have been reported all over the place, many times out the door, in some cases even down the road (cars waiting to drive through or park, that is).

For those who may have tried to ignore it all, the fast-food chain’s president recently came “out of the closet” and proclaimed support of traditional marriage, i.e., one man and one woman (presumably both born that way).

Many have reacted to this so-called “hatred” with … well, hatred.

What hatred?

Apparently it’s OK to hate and be intolerant of those who disagree with you and your “love” and “tolerance.” But only if you agree with something the Bible says, and I agree with the world.

Consider †his: isn’t that what Jesus told us would happen anyhow, in John 15:12-25 and Mark 13:9-13?

The problem with, in this case, the supporters of same-gender marriage is the same problem that people who support any type of sin (and, yes, sorry, practicing homosexuality is just as much of a sin as adultery, fornication, lust, lying, murder, and — oh, yeah — hatred) have. They want to do something that God says isn’t a good thing to do.

That’s nothing new. John the Baptist told Herod that his marriage to his cousin-in-law, Herodias, was wrong. Herod locked John up (Luke 3:18-20), and Herodias’ hatred of John is what caused her to compel Herod to have him beheaded (Matthew 14:1-12 & Mark 6:17-29).

That was back then, though. Now we “know” that we are, at best, evolved animals. As the script for one old computer game said, “we are chemical processes, and nothing more.” So why shouldn’t we just let “love” (which is itself a chemical process for reproduction, so we can also call it “lust”) be “right?” That’s how we’re made, after all.

Hopefully everybody sees the sarcasm in the previous paragraph.

Now, I know all too well how body chemistry can mess up the mind. I have been diagnosed with depression, panic disorder, general anxiety disorder, and I have the symptoms of several other disorders that make the term “too blessed to be stressed” sound like an alien language to me. Does that mean that I claim anxiety is not a sin, even though passages such as Matthew 6:25-33, Matthew 10:19, Mark 13:11, Luke 12:22-31, and Philippians 4:4-7 seem to say otherwise?

Nope, I’m not claiming that my body doesn’t make me sin. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not a sin if my physical body produces hormones that cause me to act a certain way. Maybe it is a sin, but grace covers those sins, too.

Whatever the case, my desires and my body do not determine what is sin. God alone does!

Both sides need to stop hating the messengers. The “tolerant” are deceived. Their father is the father of lies (John 8:43-45), and they proclaim his message. Some will turn and see the light, while others never will. Some follow Christ, yet still support those who claim to be homosexual.

I need to make one thing clear at this point. I just said that some claim to be homosexual. The claim often simply mean they are tempted with same-gender attraction, but do not take it beyond that, just as many are tempted to lust after the opposite gender. Temptation is not sin. I do not have the right to accuse anyone who claims to be homosexual of sin. I can tell them what the Bible says, but the choice is still theirs to make, just as it is my choice to fall where I am weak. Many are confused. Some want to throw their blatant sin into the face of anyone who disagrees with them, though, demanding acceptance their way. Sorry, no can do.

So how is all this going to play out? This will eventually die down, and the haters will seem to have a victory, then drag everyone through the mud with the next big thing that feels good with no true godliness. It’s in our nature. Just as chickens lay eggs, the unrepentant sinner will find something else to stir hatred. One day, though, the consistently unrepentant sinners will have egg on their faces as they discover that they don’t rule the roost after all.

Daredevil Evangelism

I have to share with you (with permission) an email my wife sent to our pastor today. First, let me set the stage a bit. My wife, Joy, underwent surgery this past Tuesday, June 28. That day & this morning she has been running a mild fever, hasn’t had much energy, has felt the pain of the incisions made, and has been constipated. (My apologies to those who just yelled, “TMI!” That detail is important.)

Let me let her describe what happened today:

Praising God that I'm doing GREAT!!!!! No more high temps praise God! I'm so excited because I had an awesome, awesome God opportunity today. This afternoon around 3:00 there was a knock at my door. I opened the door and it was two Mormon young ladies. I invited them in from the rain and the Holy Spirit took over from there. When the introductions were out of the way I began sharing my testimony of how God has grown me in my faith through trials.

As I shared with these ladies they told me they were amazed by the faith I had and the joy I showed in talking about Christ. I shared with them miracles God had done in my life also, but this was just the icebreaker. We started getting into God's Word and talking about how God knew us before we were born and how He already knew what His plans would be for us.

I shared with them Jeremiah 29:11 of how God knew the plans He had for us, of how He would prosper us and not harm us but give us a hope and a future. I went further to say as we seek Christ we will find Him. I shared how the Holy Spirit showed me how to apply this verse in my life. As I shared with these ladies I could sense in my heart that God was doing something.

We talked about Salvation how each person has a choice to accept or reject Christ's love and forgiveness that He paid by dying on the Cross. As I shared with these ladies about Hell I said it was never meant for Christians but it was for Satan, his angels and demons. Talking about Heaven I shared with them what you've been teaching on Sundays.

Before they left they asked if they could come by again I said sure. I was bold and told them I wanted to know how they came to know Christ. I also shared another important thing that you share so often it's not religion it's a relationship with Christ. I shared this several times as we talked. There so much more I could share but I'm praying for wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit through God's Word.

In part I’m reminded of Luke 12:11-12, where Jesus promises to provide what to say when we are in front of those who would judge us. I think more, though, of Proverbs 3:5-6.

What’s interesting here is that, under normal circumstances, Joy probably would not have been home when these two women came by. Only because she was recovering from surgery, and still had some ill side effects, was she at home.

Consider †his: You never know what circumstances God will use.

Several months ago I listened to pastor James MacDonald. I'm honestly no big fan of his style, but it was on a radio station I trust, so I listened. Besides, it was near the end of his particular segment. He mentioned in passing that he wasn’t interested in seeing someone’s stamp collection, but what that person was doing for Christ. I found him on Twitter, and asked him why he thought God couldn’t use a person’s stamp collection for His glory. The pastor’s response was that “God can use a horse’s ass,” but it’s better to use the right tools.

Apparently Pastor MacDonald doesn’t want to leave God open to using what He wishes to use.

God chose to use something that I thought was bad and undesirable for good instead.

Oh, and the TMI earlier? All of her symptoms, other than the expected tenderness of the incisions, disappeared shortly after these two ladies left.

Coincidence? Or God-incidence?

Come, Let Us Experience The Spirit of Emotional High Together

Over the past few days an interesting discussion — poured across several different places — has arisen. And it's not even about Rob Bell!

It started, most likely, with a Facebook note by Anthony Weber regarding the book, God is Not One, by Stephen Protero. The note's title is "Protestantism's Scarecrow Faith?!?!?" I learned of it via a comment made by a blog brother, Scott Smith, who further addressed it in his blog, Sarcastic Xtian, in a post titled "A Mindless Faith." Both provide excellent insights and stuff to consider.

I'm going to take a slightly different approach.

Consider †his: the Holy Spirit is not an emotional high experienced in "church."

I was surprised to discover in Google's results for "gifts of the holy spirit" a mention of Isaiah 11:1-5. I was more familiar with the ones found in 1 Corinthians 12:4-11 and Romans 12:1-10. (Thanks to Robert Longham, Jr., for his page, Gifts of the Holy Spirit, which provided a quick reference as well as a balanced view of the whole thing.) Galatians 5:22-23, on the other hand, provides the fruit of the Spirit.

While I could go off on the abuses made involving the gifts & fruit, I'll leave that for another post.

This time I want to tackle the modern notion of shutting down our minds in favor of getting "pumped up" with emotions. Yes, I'm talking about preachers and other leaders who choose to lead in chaos during a worship service rather than teach the word of God!

God has much for us to learn from His Word. We are called to learn sound doctrine so we may encourage those who trust it, and rebuke or refute those teachings that go against it (Titus 1:9). That passage refers to the "trustworthy word," meaning what is now considered Scripture, as we don't have the apostles among us (apostolic succession notwithstanding). Titus was later instructed by Paul to teach that same sound doctrine (Titus 2:1).

Paul's successor in teaching, Timothy, was also instructed to hold fast to sound doctrine (1 Timothy 6:3-16, 1 Timothy 1:3-7). Later Paul warned Tim that people would give up on sound doctrine, choosing a wide variety of teachers that will affirm whatever they want to hear (2 Timothy 4:3).

Welcome to the 21st century!

We have so many "feel-good" teachers that you have no reason to feel bad. Yet so many of us do! That's because emotions aren't permanent. They run & hide at the drop of a circumstance. Emotions aren't trustworthy. Many people feel "up" when the sun is shining, and "down" when it's cloudy & "gloomy." Emotions are often merely the result of chemical changes in our body. I suffer from clinical depression, caused by the inability to create and/or use the neurotransmitter serotonin properly.

Emotions make up the majority of our remembered experiences. This is especially true of women, who are able to use both sides of their brains at once, allowing them to think and feel at the same time. Sorry, men, it makes no sense to us, because we're "brain damaged" and can't do that. Still, how much pain do we guys remember compared to learned knowledge?

God can, of course, heal our hurts, repair our remembrances, and effect emotional changes for His glory. Sometimes, though, we have to be smart … Book smart … WORD smart! We need to know what God says to us so that we can bring Him glory even when we don't feel like it, or when our past experiences "prove" that what we "feel" is "true."

Life in Christ can be a "thrill ride" at times, but that's not all it is. We need solid truth — sound doctrine — to get us through those times when we know that roller coaster of life is surely going to throw us out of our car, hurtling head-first to our destruction … precisely what our enemy, the devil, wants us to think so we won't bring God glory!

When have you "felt" God protecting you in spite of your emotions? Has the emotional high ever failed you? When has the truth you've learned from God's Word rescued you from a bad emotional experience?

Scared for Nothing!

The Yahweh's Yarn in a Year for January 2 was from Joshua 1-5. This section begins the time when the next generation of Israelites prepared to enter & conquer the Promised Land. Reading Genesis through Deuteronomy, you'll discover that God had promised Abraham and his descendants that land, but when the whole mob left Egypt, they were afraid of the people in the land they were about to enter. Of the 12 spies they sent in, only two — Joshua (the guy the book's named after, and now the leader of the Israelites) and Caleb — had the faith to believe God was going to give them the land. As a result, the people were told to go back into the wilderness and wander around there for 40 years, in the wilderness that took them a year to get through.

There's quite a bit of stuff to look at here, but here's what hit me in the face this time. This comes from the story of the scouting party investigating Jericho. You can find this in Joshua 2:1-11. Rahab, a prostitute and flax handler of some sort, had hidden the spies from the guards that were looking for them. She explained that the city was scared of the Israelites. Why? Because of all the stuff that happened 40 years ago!

Consider †his: 40 years ago the Israelites wimped out, even after being miraculously rescued from the Egyptians by tons of … well, miracles! Through it all, they got scared of the people in the land beyond the Jordan river. But those people heard about it, too … and were even more scared of the Israelites and their God Who fought for them! They didn't just get scared now. They were scared 40 years ago, when Israel was just as scared. For forty years the people of Jericho lived under the threat of the Israelites coming in and taking them out. For forty years, though, the feared Israelites were themselves fearful, so much that they had to spend a time-out in the desert until that generation was gone.

Now Consider †his: isn't God just as much for the child of God today as He was for the children of Israel then? The world is scared of God today. Why do you think there's so much of a push to get rid of Christmas, but not the false Kwanzaa, or the real Hanukkah, Ramadan, or other holidays? As one person put it, "it's because it's got Christ in it, and after 2,000 years He's still intimidating people." You, Christian, are intimidating, too. If you have Christ in you, you're just as intimidating. Obviously the point isn't to make people fear you, but don't be afraid of what happens around you when Christ is in you.